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I took an entire week off!

Well, sorta. The second week of July, I stepped away from my computer and got in the car with my friends Arwen and Allyn and took off for Salt Lake City. We try to make the pilgrimage to the Family History Library every year or so to immerse ourselves in microfilm and books researching our genealogies. I love genealogy, but I love the week away from writing even more. For five glorious days, I tune out the people in my head and focus on the people of the past.

Well, sorta. The problem is that I’ve used some of the surnames in my husband’s genealogy for my characters. Digging through historical records in Armstrong County, Pennsylvania, I was seeking information about Samuel Lawton in the early 1800s. My goal is to prove that Samuel is the son of Joseph Lawton. Sometimes, genealogy is a lot like fishing with hand grenades. You have to take the broad approach. If you can’t find the records you need for your particular guy, you look at the records for all the men who could potentially be his brother or his father and hope you can tie the family together. I did not find what I was looking for with Samuel; however, I was very excited to spot a record for a William Lawton. This is a familiar name in the right place and I was like a hound after the fox. I compiled the names and the records, scanning the documents that I would need to prove that William was indeed one of my husband’s Lawton family members.

Two hours later, I realized the name was familiar because Will Lawton is a character in Blood Link. I’d been chasing… a back story. After that, I went down to the basement where they keep the records for Great Britain and worked on my family lines. I haven’t used any of those names yet for characters. I happily ignored everything to do with writing for the rest of the trip.

Well, sorta. Arwen and I generally spend part of the long ride brainstorming a book. I provide a basic premise and we talk through scenarios. Several years ago, we discussed several of the events in A Shared Fear, and thanks to that conversation, I knew why a contract had been taken out on my hero. On this trip, I’d had an idea on the ride to Salt Lake City and it had been simmering on the back burner all week. So, on the ride home, I provided the premise and we tossed around ideas for my characters. The specific items we discuss rarely make it into a book, but they help me with the back story and motivation. Some of these sessions are also a lot like fishing with hand grenades.

I came home rejuvenated – ready to take on the next great task.

Well sorta. That rat Marcia had dropped the completed first round of edits for Saving Emily while I was gone…

What’s the difference between a flirt and a tease? According to my handy-dandy dictionary:
Flirt: verb – behave as if one finds another person sexually attractive without intending to have a relationship with them.
Tease: verb – tempt someone sexually, without intending to have sex with them.
They may sound a lot alike, but you’ll find a real difference in the synonyms listed in the same dictionary:
Flirt: tease, coquette, heartbreaker, lead-on, toy with, play with.
Tease: make fun of, laugh at, deride, mock, ridicule, taunt, bait, goad, pick on.

When a man refers to a woman as “a tease,” you can bet that it’s not a positive thing – it’s a warning to everyone else.

I also see a real difference in the two based on the “physical” actions of a flirt and a tease. A flirt likes to play, but those involved knows it’s a game, and it is done in front of everyone, including each other’s spouses. There’s giggling and pointing and the game is fun for everyone involved.

Teasing on the other hand often leaves someone unsure if what’s going on is a game or not. There is often a fine line between the two, but I’m willing to bet that almost all of us know the difference when we see it.

Flirting can happen at the strangest times. The best ones happen quickly, are often “dirty” and are followed by a quick return to reality. What follows is a real exchange that occurred on a social networking site. The names and a few words were removed to protect an identity (they appear in brackets[ ] ) We were talking about a picture of me in a Brownie uniform when I was six years old.

Him: “I was 2 in [that year]. But, I was into… skirts… even at that age!
Me: “That’s okay. I liked younger boys – they’re easier to tie up…”
Him: You know, handcuffs will never rust if they are coated with baby oil… I’m just saying…”
Me: “Silk doesn’t cut up the skin as much… I’m just saying…”
Him: “… I could always count on a lot of fun… I’m just saying…”
Me: “You, [his name], are a lot of fun!”
Him: “I am the fun guy. I hope to be the fun master someday lady!! Hooah! Seriously, that’s an adorable picture… [xxx] is now a girl scout…” (referring to his daughter)
Me: “If you’re a good little boy I might give you permission to be in charge. Hooah! Seriously, thanks – it’s one of my favorite pictures.”

A good exchange and then just before it goes too far… the return to reality and a catch up on the family. This is fun stuff – no harm, no foul, and no one feeling like they were mistreated. My husband was three feet away and I was laughing aloud as this exchange happened. Everything is out in the open where anyone (including our spouses) can see it.

But you can’t play these games with some folks. They live to make you uncomfortable and push your buttons. Those folks like to make everything a joke, but you become the butt of that joke when you step back. They take pleasure in your discomfort. Those are the ones who ruin the game for everyone.

They are also the reason that I learned to shoot! Okay, that’s a lie – I learned to shoot because it was fun and it turned out I was good at it. Being capable of removing the teases from my life is simply a bonus.

I, along with all of my characters, am fine with a little flirting. But if you’re a tease, I’ll simply warn you in advance – Colt Model 1911A1.