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Are you sure you want my help?

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I’ve written about the painful editing process before, but it’s a whole different type of pain when you get asked to help someone clean up their first draft. Don’t get me wrong – I’m thrilled to be asked and more than happy to help, but now I realize just how excruciating it was (Okay, okay! Still is!) for my editors.

There’s a fine line between brutally honest and just plain brutal. I have yet to meet an author who minds someone pointing out the missing words, the wonky sentence structure, the grammar and punctuation errors, or even the out-and-out crappy sentence. Who amongst us has not done one or all of these things? Some of us continue to write crappy sentences and will until we die. It gives our editors something to fix and makes them feel needed.

But how do you tell another author (who is also your friend or possibly a relative) that the sentence they slaved over is beyond crappy without wounding them?

I usually shoot for a mixture of straightforward combined with some humor to break up the pain. I learned this technique from my editor Marcia. She’s had lots of experience (after four books) in finding new and interesting ways to point out my failures.

In response to my inability to be consistent:
Okay – choice time. Either traveled or travelled is correct. The same is true for traveling or travelling. However, you CANNOT switch between them. You must be consistent. (God, didn’t you learn anything in the military, Shirt?).

In response to my occasional use of vague words:
“Handling” is another one of those vague and overused words. Just trying to broaden your horizons. It’s an act of charity – really!
Also: Sorry. You just really can’t hate “that’s”. You have to hate specific things.

In response to overused words:
I think I’m growing tired of the word “simply”. It’s no longer so simple.

I had said. “…she’d struggled to hang on to her calm.”
Marcia’s comment:
I keep stumbling on this word. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen it used to refer to a person’s state of mind. To me, it seems to apply to an external state, and calmness seems to apply more to a person’s state. But I could also be full of shit!

Commentary about an answer that came three paragraphs after the question in the draft:
Sorry. I don’t remember what the question was. That was two chapters ago. Remind me what she asked.

I added a paragraph to fix a problem Marcia pointed out and left this comment in the second draft for Marcia:
Okay, I’ve told you who his daughter is, that he’s unattached, and how she knows these things. Are you happy now?
Marcia’s response to my comment: Thank you. And your readers (all 10 of them) will thank you.
(I literally lost it when I read that and blew coffee through my nose I was laughing so hard. Marcia really is an evil woman on occasion.)

In response to the visit by my comma fairy:
You can’t leave the comma in unless you justify it to me – and wanting a verbal pause doesn’t cut it! I dare you to try to justify this comma!

Marcia’s comment to me when I asked about combining two short sentences:
Theoretically, you could put these two sentences together with a semicolon – if you wanted to fuck it up! Seriously, I don’t think they’re choppy. I think they work fine this way. … I’m trying to get you to write more like Hemingway.
My retort:
Hahaha – #1 Hemingway was a drunk and had to write in short sentences. #2 Not a big fan. #3 He killed himself. I read somewhere that he’d just received the edits on his new book.

Quite honestly, the first time I received edits from Marcia, I did cry. A lot. We were both new to this and there wasn’t much in the way of humor. It was incredibly painful, and I was sure that I’d done such a terrible job that I should just walk away from writing. But we both got through it, and Marcia and I have found a comfortable mix of reality, abuse, and humor that works for us. I hope I’m able to do the same for my friends.

Thirty days of Gratitude

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In response to the requests of my friends, here it is.
1 – My husband. Duh! Did you think I wouldn’t put him at the top of the list?
2 – My chosen family. I’m not sure why they put up with me on any given day.
3 – My blood family. I’d have put them higher, but they don’t live close enough to kick my butt and my chosen family does.
4 – Laziness. It has apparently stopped the people who didn’t like my books from writing any scathing reviews.
5 – Texas. It gives me something to point and giggle at.
6 – Election Day. It means the long national nightmare of political advertising is over and we have reached a decision. Unless you live in Tucson. Then you have at least 10 more days before they’re done counting the damn votes and you find out who your congressman is.
7 – Furry friends. The regular household pet type, not those icky humans in the fur suits. Those people need some counseling and drugs – they creep me out.
8 – Restraints. There are times they are useful in preventing me from slapping someone just for being an idiot.
9 – Maturity. I don’t really have it in droves, but the little bit I have has saved me from having an author bio (like a million others) that says, “I love coffee, chocolate, and studly men.” That’s a freaking given, not a damn bio, ladies.
10 – Colt M1911A1. You knew I couldn’t go more than ten days without bringing up the .45. Now that’s a weapon to be grateful for.
11 – Veterans. If you don’t know why – get your useless ass the hell off my blog.
12 – My smart friends. I know some brilliant people who have expertise in a variety of areas, and I shamelessly milk them for information.
13 – Cheerleaders. No, not the type in the short skirts. Although, one time there was this yell king… never mind. I’m talking about the people who constantly encourage me.
14 – Overheard comments with no context. Several of these have led to novels. Your misery is my fodder.
15 – Vacation. I’d like one. A lot. Must sell more books.
16 – Facebook. My lord – have you seen the stupidity out there? I really must include a conspiracy theory idiot in a book.
17 – My less than brilliant friends. These are the people who after seven books say, “Oh! Do you write?”
18 – My mother. Who taught me not to say what I really think when I’m in public or answering my less brilliant friends.
19 – The military. They reinforced the lesson about not saying what you really think. Not that my commanders ever believed I learned this lesson.
20 – College Football. Please don’t ask me to do anything on Saturdays in the fall. I’m busy quacking.
21 – Bologna. Sometimes a gal just needs two pieces of white bread, two slices of bologna, and some yellow mustard. It ain’t fancy, but all this healthy crap makes me appreciate a good old-fashioned bologna sandwich.
22 – Cops. They make me happy. Maybe it’s the handcuffs…
23 – Thanksgiving. It’s all about the gravy. I love real homemade turkey gravy. I can’t get enough of it. I flood my plate with it. I dream… never mind. Turkey gravy is good.
24 – A sense of humor. More people need to grow one.
25 – Motorcycles. I don’t ride, but I do love to see them and hear them. I wish I was with them. Right up until it rains.
26 – Naps. It’s nice to know they’re available to me.
27 – Coming home from the gym. It’s done for the day and there is coffee waiting.
28 – Reunions. You see people just long enough to remember why you left town.
29 – Typing skills. Life is easier if you can type properly. I’m not as fast as I used to be, but I’m still fast enough to misspell my fair share of stuff.
30 – That this 30 days of gratitude is over.

All fun aside – I’m grateful for the opportunities that I have had, the life I lead, and the people who are in my life.

There is a Point

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I spent a lot of time worrying about what I was going to do for NaNoWrite this year. In the middle of October, I was still whining about being unprepared. I rarely suffer from “a failure to focus” in my chosen profession, but there I was. October rolled towards its conclusion, and I had gone from whining to babbling and back again. I have a couple stories in my head and I want to tell them, but I wasn’t ready and I didn’t know why. I just felt stagnant and lost.

I’ve had to work at a lot of crappy jobs in my life, but I decided that once I turned 50, my job was to make myself happy by doing something I really liked doing. So we set ourselves up to live within our means and only work at things we liked. I became a full time writer less than three years ago. As often as I remind myself that the point of what I do is not to sell books –it’s still in the back of my mind. My books are not big sellers. I move a few here and there and they pay for my manicures. Hopefully, someone out there likes what I write and they tell a friend, share it on Facebook, or even write a review. I occasionally have days when I wonder why I bother to publish, or if anyone would notice if I didn’t.

But then, someone reminds me that what I do matters to other people too. That my work and my words not only entertain but may actually have an impact. That in a world where we dash from thing to thing, some people still take the time to sit and read a book. They take life lessons from the characters who face challenges, they remember when they were young, strong, and vital, when they were part of something that was bigger than themselves, and they relive that special moment when it all clicked and they knew they’d found the right person.

And when they tell me these things, I can go back and read my work with a different frame of reference. It’s then I realize that in just trying to tell an interesting story, I may have captured something special. It truly no longer matters whether I meet some self-imposed word count goal or whether I sell another damn book. The goal was to write something of value and entertain my friends and myself. I’m meeting my goals.

National Novel Writing Month

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Well, here we are back at 1 November again. You all know what that means – it’s time for National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWriMo (this still sounds like some kind of fantasy beast from the African plains) is all about making yourself (and your family) insane for thirty days as you frantically try to get 50,000 words down on paper in one month. Theoretically, those words create an actual novel.

I did it last year. 64K in thirty days. Those words became the rough draft of Saving Emily. It took several months of edits, beta reader comments, rewrites, and enough curse words to fill up several swear jars before Saving Emily was ready to go. The outline, timeline, and synopsis had been useful, but as always the story led me where it wanted to go. Saving Emily eventually wound up being about at 72.5K words and I’m extremely proud of this book.

So what’s the plan for this year? I’m not sure. I have no outline, timeline, synopsis, or anything else. What I have is a germ of an idea. Once again, I’ll be writing out my butt since I think my hero is in a career field (non-military and non-law enforcement) that I know nothing about. But he’s a guy, there’s a girl, there will be cops, border patrol agents, murder, contract killers, illegal immigrants, horses, dogs, a cat, a musical instrument, and a kitchen sink.

I’ll post random updates as I go. My goal this time is the word count of 50K, not the completion of the novel. This one will take a little longer, but NaNoWriMo will give me a really good start on the novel.

Now if I only had a name for my hero…

Does my story work?

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One of my writing buddies recently asked me to have a look at the first chapter of a work-in-progress. This is one of those things that writers do for each other when we’re starting a new project. It’s never easy to send those first couple of chapters to someone. I usually start my email request with, “I know this is a mess, but could you have a look? Is there anything here? Ignore the grammar, spelling, and general confusion. I just need to know if the story has legs.”

As a writer, I get all jacked up and excited when I start a new story, but then about two-thirds of the way through the opening chapter, I have my first panic attack. What if this sucks oily bilge water? What if there is no story here? What if it’s boring? I usually make it through the first three chapters before I ask someone to have a look at what I’ve written. Of course, I’ve hacked and chewed and self-edited the damn thing to death before I ask for that first critical look. The hope is that you have introduced your characters, provided a conflict, and set the hook so the reader wants to know what happens. The first three chapters set the tone for the book, and the opening chapter is critical. If I bore you in the opening pages… it’s all over.

We all offer to help each other with that first look, but we all have a love/hate relationship with actually doing it for someone. Each of us prays that the person asking has something decent in those first few pages. Let’s face it, no one wants to be the bearer of bad tidings or to have to tell someone that perhaps they should take up rock collecting instead of trying to write. We’re each hoping that those early pages will have some gem of a story that captivates us.

Perhaps the worst requests come from a family member who thinks they have a clue and yet rarely do. So many people seem to think writing is easy. Just tell the story. Pay no attention to plot or pacing, no attention to character development or description of people and places, and don’t worry about a timeline for the story. After all, it shouldn’t matter if in chapter one the child is two, and in chapter two, which takes place a day later, the child is four. Fortunately, I have been the one doing the requesting and my relative has always been very generous.

The request I received the other day came from a twice published author who has taken some time off, but is trying to get back into the swing of things. She read Protecting Parker and Blood Link when they were… well… damn near unreadable. Without her help, my first novel would never have seen the light of day. I was delighted to have the opportunity to do something for her for a change.

Her email read, “I know there are mistakes in here with words. I’m ignoring them and just going. I guess I need to know if so far it flows or if it’s boring as hell.” I could feel the author’s worry and fear. Her email may just as well have read, “Please don’t judge me based on this draft. I know it’s awful, I know the words aren’t right, I know I can’t spell, but please read past that and look at the story. Does the story work? Do you hate the characters? Am I peeing into a head wind on this one? Be honest, but don’t crush me.”

It’s hard to shut off your “inner editor” and just read. Once you’ve written for a while, it’s almost second nature to edit as you go, but in this case, I wasn’t being asked to edit. I was asked to read an opening chapter and simply give my thoughts as to whether the story had legs. If asked, the author herself would tell you that it had issues – but who’s first unedited draft doesn’t?

I called her after reading through the pages and told her the truth as I saw it. “It’s got legs. You still have your voice. There are a lot of problems, almost all of which you will see as soon as you take a deep breath and start self-editing. But, there is definitely a romance novel in there. Keep writing. Let me see the next two when you’re finished.”

The relief was evident and she thanked me mightily. I was happy to help her.

Of course, I also told her it would be better if the heroine was in the military and someone was blowing something up or shooting someone. She called me a name and hung up. Sheesh… I was just trying to help.

Reading and Writing

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I like a good book as well as the next person. Let’s get real – I was a reader for a heck of a lot of years before I decided to get serious about writing. But, since I’ve started writing, I find it much more difficult to be a reader. To sit down, pick up a book, and just lose myself in someone else’s story is such a pleasure when it happens. However, it doesn’t happen as often anymore. I used to plow through several books a week. Now I might be lucky to get through a couple of books a month.

Why has the reading fallen off so sharply? There are several reasons. First – I’m just busier now. When I spend a lot of time writing, that means I have less time to spend doing things that need to be done. Mr. Scott is extremely cool about my lack of interest in accomplishing domestic work, but there’s a few basic jobs that we agreed to many years ago, and I need to keep my end of that agreement up. Food and laundry are the two priorities. Vacuuming and dusting can be ignored, but even I have my limits on those things.

Second – After writing a few books, I find myself bothered by what I read. It’s not uncommon now for me to start a book and twenty pages in I know what plot point is coming and when. Especially if it’s a romance. I start taking mental bets that by page sixty they are in love, page eighty they have sex, page one hundred there’s a misunderstanding, etc. There are several bestselling romance and paranormal authors who I can now predict to within five pages. I recently annoyed one of my beta readers when I told her what would happen in the next novel by her favorite author. She was annoyed because I was right. The folks that I read are great writers and I still enjoy the ride, but sometimes the thrill is gone.

Third – The better I get at certain things (grammar, phrasing, description, etc. – not that you are seeing my growth in this blog) the more annoyed I am when I find continual problems in “professionally” edited/published books. It bugs the hell out of me to pay big dollars for a hardbound book from one of the major publishers and find bad spelling and crappy punctuation. We aren’t talking about the occasional screw up. We’re talking about multiple errors per chapter. It’s even more frustrating to spend the money and get a book with plot holes that you could drive a truck through. The major publishers like to point out that people who self-publish often suck at the basic tasks of story and copy editing, while they hire the best in the business. That’s obviously not always true. I will admit that I’m less fazed by some of those issues if the book is self-published, but at the same time, I believe in posting a review that says, “Find a damn editor. If you want me to pay for your book – do a professional job.”

Lastly, it’s important to hear your own voice when you are writing, not someone else’s. As a result, I avoid reading when I’m writing the first draft of a book. I’m a person who gets engrossed in the book I’m reading, and I don’t want to have that story or that author’s voice in my head while I’m working on my own book. I find that I’m able to watch TV or a movie and walk away from the story I’ve seen, but I have a tendency to carry books around in my head for long periods of time.

I’ve taken several weeks off from writing, so I’ve had time to read again. A couple of thrillers distracted me, and I tossed in a lightweight romance in between to clear my palate. But now it’s time to get back to work again. I’ve got two drafts to finish in October and I need to plot out the book that I’m going to write during National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) in November. Stay tuned.