There are days when I feel like all the communication is one way. That all I do is dial the phone, or type the email, or make the posts. It’s me constantly reaching out and seeking the contact. It’s me that makes the effort. Like everyone is either too busy or too locked into their own misery to make the effort to see if we’re okay. There are days when I feel like that old bitchy broad who looks at the entire world and whines, “You never call.”
That’s not how it is, but there are times that this is precisely how it feels. The one way communication is not the truth—this is an emotional response to a change in my circumstances. This is me feeling like everyone else is managing better than me and the people that aren’t, may not be people that I want to deal with. Odds are that they don’t want to deal with me either when I’m not coping. Aren’t we all just tired of hearing how unhappy everyone is? Doesn’t it freak you out when someone is actually happy now? This is so not where I want to be.
I’m actually annoyed that everyone can’t read my damn mind and know that they should call me on one of those off kilter days. It’s that whiny crybaby talking—the one who just needs to know that someone out there is interested in whether I’m upright and mobile or crippled in the corner. The cranky woman who wants to remind you that just because I’m the one who usually reaches out, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make the effort in return.
The truth is that my true friends DO call. My true friends DO message me. My true friends DO make an effort. My true friends DO understand that relationships are a two-way street and both sides have to make an effort. Those efforts are not always equal or fair—that’s life. We catch up when and how we can.
I’ve put a few people on my call list as I thought this over. I’ve taken a few people off. Maybe if they call me then they can go back on. Mostly, I’m just trying to find my place in the world all over again. Life has changed and we all have to quit lamenting the passing and get on with the life we now have. If you don’t hear from me… maybe you should give me a call. You may just be the person I’ve been hoping to hear from.
This hits a nerve with me, as a person who lives far from a large family, most of whom rarely, if ever, call me. For over 40 years whenever I call a family member they invariably say, “we were just talking about you the other day”. What?! Why didn’t someone call me then!? I hear multiple excuses, one most used is the time difference. (Most of my family are east coasters). In this day and age of cell phones there seems no reason not to call someone. I tend to think most people believe they have nothing to say—no real news, or interesting stories, so why call? Funny/not funny how the people who profess to love you most have the greatest capacity to hurt you as well.
It’s even more than just about the phone call now. It’s not like it’s the 60s and long distance fees are going to eat you alive. There’s Facebook, Messenger, Instagram, and a dozen other free and easy ways to just send a quick message that you are thinking of someone or even acknowledging their existence.
I’d call – but I don’t want to distract you from finishing (or starting?) IX . . . jus’ sayin’
How’s Scotty and Scout?